stress....stifled... choking... dying...

had a breakdown yesterday... was feeling very stressed up over which to go for... hall or cca... and whether even to fight for the points to be able to stay in hall next year... and all my homework are piling up like a mountain... they are reaching for the sky... then with all the tests coming up... and my sisters' unfriendly attitude to my home coming... i'm seriously wondering if i should go home,... they always give me a 'chao' face when i go home... and show me a damn bad attitude lor... do i owe them anything by staying in hall? it must be bec of the household chores... they hate doing them.. but have they wondered if i have to do my own stuff in hall? then mum have to stress on the fact tat there were so much vege cooked bec i was coming home for dinner... like they were specially cooked for me... i didn't ask her to do it lor... why stress me up over such a small stuff? it's like forcing me to finish all of them at one go... even after i had my dinner outside? is it fair to me"? then danny talked to me on sat about running for the treasurer post... i was so damned interested in running for it... but then jieli have to come to me and ask if i was running... and told me tat she is onli interested in running for it... shit la... worse thing is she has to tell me tat she dun want to fight with a friend and someone she knows really well at tat... worse.. it reminds me of the time on wah and dec were fighting for the same posts... on wah had a breakdown bec of tat... stupid.. why do they have to take things so seriously? but after a good nite sleep... i decided tat i shall conc on my hall stuff first.. then go for nvac stuff next year... so tat at least i have a full exp of living on campus and going all out to fight for points... hee... weird.. feeling like i'll cry any moment at anyting... cried at the stupid tv for nothing... this was on sunday.. too tired i think... went for a haircut after tat... got a huge shock when i finish... jia lat.. never seen myself like tt before.. either this is a successful make over or this is a huge flop... but the more i look at it... the better it seems... hee... for those whose names are mentioned above and if you are reading this post... pls forgive my lang... but i really dun understand why frens can't fight for posts together... paiseh.. and i was really really stressed out by it... thus xinli.. if we can't make out time to go xiao gui lin... perhaps a good cry will help... it did for me... tears just spouted out like nobody's business... and my stress just sort of flowed away also..